The Mayan Calendar Meets the NFL Conference Championship week: A JUXAPOSITION OF DESTRUCTION

[bdeff]

The Rantings and Ravings of a Loud Mouthed Malcontent: Episode I:
The Mayan Calendar Meets the NFL Conference Championship week: A JUXAPOSITION OF DESTRUCTION

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For some unknown reasons, the moderators at this fine establishment decided to give me, a self professed, 1^st class idiot, a forum to delve into “Steeler Related Football Topics". I can hear the discussion now, “We gave who??? What??? and how much did we have to drink??? So before they come to their senses and take away my author status, let me delve into my 1^st foray into the lighter side of sports/Steelers related topics. Unlike many more knowledgeable fans, I don't proclaim to use stats, facts or reasoned arguments. To make a reasonably literate, semi-entertaining article, I will attempt to make use of every one of the 83 IQ points that I was blessed with at birth.

My friends, today I begin with a subject that without a doubt is as light-hearted as it gets. Today’s topic is: The predicted Mayan Armageddon of 2012, and how it will affect fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. We all know that In the past several years, the issue of the Mayan Calendar has been written about, publicized and even brought to life by Hollywood in cinematic form as the Movie: 2012 (ed. Note if you endured the movie 2012, I argue that you have already suffered through a personal Armageddon of sorts).

But to recap, on December 21, 2012, the Mayan long count calendar just abruptly ends. To some people, the ending of the calendar is theorized to represent the end of time! Pretty heavy stuff huh? At the very least, it certainly makes the Steelers search for a decent Offensive Guard seem slightly less significant? (ed. Note: Why do I have images of Chris Kemoeatu still getting flagged for stupid penalties in eternity? Ah but I digress…)

Unlike much more intelligent people, I choose to face this possible Armageddon as a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and not from a philosophical, religious, or political perspective, and certainly not by hoarding Ramen Noodles and cigarettes. So, IF the world is ending, it will dramatically effect who I am pulling for to win Super Bowl XLVI. With a potential Mayan Armageddon, I am going all in with the New York Football Giants. I will now present my argument as why I don’t want to enter into Armageddon with any of the other remaining teams as the champions of all eternity.

1. If the San Francisco 49'ers would win Super Bowl XLVI
A win would give the franchise 6 Super Bowl titles and with Super Bowl XLVIII scheduled for January of 2013 (post Armageddon), Steelers fans we would enter eternity with the 49'ers having equaled the Steelers total number of Super Bowl Championships. This is totally unacceptable to me; when the final tallies are counted I really want the total Super Bowl tally to read Pittsburgh Steelers 6 San Francisco 49’ers 5. I want there to be no dispute in the cosmic total.

2. If the Baltimore Ravens would win Super Bowl XLVI
I could not stand the prospect of a never ending offseason of having to endure EVERY Baltimoron proclaiming that they are forever and always the champions of the NFL. I mean for goodness sake’s, the Baltimore Orioles have sucked forever, and living in Maryland it feels as if the glory days were just yesterday; now multiply that feeling by eternity! 12,000,000 years from now, I can’t imagine bumping into a Ravens fan somewhere out in the Ethereal Plane, and having to listen to them yammer on about the 2011-12 Ravens.

3. If the New England Patriots would win Super Bowl XLVI
Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat just can't win their 4th title and equal the same number of titles as Terry Bradshaw and Chuck Noll. Plus the Patriots are the representation of evil. I am hoping that in accordance with most religious texts, Hollywood movies, most of the Wrestlemanias, and nearly most great literary works, that the cosmos understands the concept that, EVIL CANNOT WIN IN THE END. Just look to the Bible, Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Wrestlemania III as a guide. (SPOILER ALERT)…. EVIL ALMOST ALWAYS LOSES IN THE END
(Ed. Note: Did I just compare Wrestlemania to the Bible or to great literary works?”

So with all of that being said, I feel that all fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers should suck up their pride, and for one day in one unified voice shout, “WE SUPPORT THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS!” It really won’t be much different from when the Giants defeated the Cheatriots in Super Bowl XLII. I dare say 95% of Steeler fans, myself included, were NY Giants fans for that day. Sure New Yorkers can be obnoxious and Giant fans are definitely no exception, but overall the Steelers really have no beef with the Giants and the win would be only the Giants fourth Super Bowl title, so there would be no debate in eternity about who is the greatest team of the Super Bowl Era. So just like during Super Bowl XLII, I once again offer the Cosmos my loyalty to the NY Giants, and just like that year, I again pledge that if the Giants win the Super Bowl, I will renew my Sports Illustrated Subscription and receive the NY Giants Championship gift package as a free gift. (Ed. Note: I still have the NY Giants championship video and mini football in storage).

FANS of the Pittsburgh Steelers, it’s your potential eternity, choose wisely.

Go G-MEN!

(Ed. Note: If for some reason, the moderators and operators of this site are asleep at the wheel, I look forward to continuing The Rantings and Ravings of a Loud Mouthed Malcontent in the future. Although if not, just look for me somewhere. I probably will be that guy arguing with a shrub or simply sitting alongside a road eating crickets, and I will gladly volunteer to squander more of your valuable time!)

[Kipper]

The Giants are my choice. As you finely illustrated.... the other 3 choices suck. What makes it worse is that if the Giants don't win, you'll be back here next week with a new Article discussing which of the 49ers, Ravens/Patriots teams do we root for.

Difficult indeed. it's already difficult knowing that I will be rooting for Tom Brady and the New England Patriots this week to beat Baltimore

[airleg1]

While I agree that your reasoning makes sense I have to differ on who to root for and my reasoning is below:

1. It is un acceptable for the 49ers to catch up to the Steelers for total number of Superbowl wins, so they are out


2. The Baltimore Ratbirds, um ahhhh, yep I agree 100% with what you have...Though I respect them, I hate them and their fans so them winning is just pure torture!!

3. Need I remind everyone that the Giants have baby Manning, if he were to get his second Superbowl all we will hear for the next ten years is how good he is. With big brother leaving Im happy to not have any Mannings mentioned in the Elite conversations.

4. Its been a couple of years since the Patsies won a superbowl so if they win, we shouldnt hear anything about Dynasties but the thought of the Evil empire of Brady/Bellicheat catching Bradshaw/Noll at four superbowls each is appalling and would cause me to vomit in my mouth.



With all of that said, I would like to just not acknowledge this Superbowl at all but unfortunately someone has to win. Since a winner must be declared, I will pull out selfish reasons and turn to my College team. I want my new Head Coach Bill Obrien to have this years Superbowl ring on his finger when he knocks on a recruits door next fall....Go Penn State so
Go Patsies

[Blackandgold]

I read today that Arians is retiring! Maybe it IS the end of the world!

[War Machine]

The Giants are my sanity valve here.

49ers: Have a Harbaugh in charge and he appears to be genetically pre-disposed toward ****tery.
Ravens: See above and they're the Ravens.
****riots: Dear Goddess, they're the ****riots! Die in a pit of rats!

There's also a weird part of me that would be amused by Eli having more rings than Peyton.

[Hambert5958]

My neighbor and good friend is a giants fan, so if all goes well, he'll have the super bowl party....good food & drink and I can walk home when its over.....perfect.....go g-men..........

[Palmetto Steel]

Great inaugural effort, bdeff...........

... I agree with your synopsis of the bleak situation... Go gotta go with the Giants as well... But I honestly enjoy the brand of ball the 49ers play...

[ManO'Steel]

Or we could just say the worlds not gonna end, we have nothing to worry about regarding the Steelers, and well win Super Bowl XLVII next year.

[Beast]

Or we could just say the worlds not gonna end, we have nothing to worry about regarding the Steelers, and well win Super Bowl XLVII next year.

Or we could say this article was just for amusement with a touch of sports commentary. We may never know.

[Palmetto Steel]

Or we could say this article was just for amusement with a touch of sports commentary. We may never know.

Oh, I know.... .... And I think it was masterfully done...........

[Hambert5958]

Hey wait just a minute. I’m surprised that this end of the world stuff wasn’t discussed during the latest CBA negotiations. Or at least considered by the NFL. Ya see, do ya wanna play almost the entire 2012 NFL season, only never to see how it ends, cause KA BOOM! the world comes to an end, just before the the **** playoffs?! Didn’t anyone consider this! Com’on man!

I propose that this year, regular season games begin in August, screw pre-season cause nobody likes ‘em anyway, and schedule things so the Super Bowl ends up on Thursday, December 20th, the day before Armageddon. Super Thursday! Think of it, your last day on earth will be one hell of a Super Bowl Party! I guess there would be better ways to spend your last day on earth, but WTF, this is a football forum. And further more (can’t believe I used that…) the Steelers Win it….#7…..they win the very last Super Bowl, awesome! (no pressure new OC whoever you are…..)…all I’m saying Roger and DeMaurice should at least consider this……..ya never know…….

[Palmetto Steel]

I propose that this year, regular season games begin in August, screw pre-season cause nobody likes ‘em anyway, and schedule things so the Super Bowl ends up on Thursday, December 20th, the day before Armageddon. Super Thursday! Think of it, your last day on earth will be one hell of a Super Bowl Party!

............ Very. Well. Done.

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[Steelreign]

Bdeff, that was a great and unique article......I love it, very well done. Go Giants!!!!!! However, if the Ravens win:
Niners-4
G-Men-3
Pats-3
Ratbirds-2
When 2012 arrives Steelers reign supreme with 6. It's a Steelreign 4ever

[Palmetto Steel]

It's a Steelreign 4ever

................... .............

[bdeff]

See what those Lousy Mayans have caused!

*SHAKING FIST ANGRILY* I hate them so much!