Rantings and Ravings: Volume 2: I Come to Praise the Pro Bowl, Not to Bury It

[bdeff]

The Rantings and Ravings of a Malcontented Loudmouth: Volume II:
The NFL Pro Bowl Edition

Before I type another word: I pause to wish all the fans of the Baltimore Ravens, “A BELATED MERRY KICKMISS!”

kickmiss.jpg

Quite surprisingly, after last weeks rant about the Mayans, I was shocked that I was not booted off this fine establishment. I was expecting a cease and desist letter all week, but unless it arrives today, I am safe. So for your reading "pleasure". I, a SELF PROFESSED, 1st Class IDIOT, will once again attempt to delve into football related information.

(ED NOTE: The moderators and operators of this site did specify that I have to, at the very least, use the terms, “FOOTBALL “ and “Pittsburgh Steelers” at least five times in my articles to retrain my author status! I feel that they fear that I may launch into a diatribe, that is less of a football commentary and more of what is in my desk drawers at any given moment.)

*SHAKING FIST ANGRILY AT THE MODERATORS* I hate you all so much!


Its Pro Bowl week! Yeah that fills most football fans with as much anticipation as the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes that also comes out this time of year. But this year, I am going to take a slightly less cynical look at the Pro Bowl and try to view it as I did when I was a 10 year old child.

Ok the Pro Bowl. I know I hear the collective groan! But hey, it’s still football, yeah it’s not good football and most of the players just want their free trip to Hawaii, nobody plays defense and the players don’t seem to care whether they win or lose. But what??? Am I going to dive into College Basketball…WHOOPEE, IONA is PLAYING SIENNA TONIGHT at 7 P.M. and can you believe it? Northern Tennessee A&T is matching up against Roast Beef State at 9 P.M! “WELL MY NEXT 4-5 HOURS IS BOOKED!”

To quote the much maligned Colin Cowherd, “I’d sooner watch people talk about football than to actually watch Basketball.”


As bad as the above described college matchups are, and no kidding they disgust me, there is TRULY a game where no fan cares, nobody plays defense and even the players don’t seem to care if they win or lose…Folks I present to you (DRUMROLL……………….) THE NBA REGULAR SEASON.

If there was ever a more pointless endeavor than the NBA regular season, I haven’t come across it yet. The arenas seem to be ½ filled with zombies or people who are so underwhelmed with the action that they appear as the seated undead, I swear you could make another Dawn of the Dead movie at just about any NBA regular season game. Defense is a rumor, and the whole pointless endeavor serves as a reminder that I am stuck with this crap until baseball begins in about 3 months.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS (1), PITTSBURGH STEELERS (2), PITTSBURGH STEELERS (3), PITTSBURGH STEELERS (4), PITTSBURGH STEELERS (5) (ED NOTE: I have now completed my requirements of using the term Pittsburgh Steelers (6) five times in my post…..LOUSY RULES!)

At this point I have two football games left to watch the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl. Malign the Pro Bowl, complain about the Pro Bowl, but I ask you…If this game was played in the middle of June when football fans are starving for even a crumb of football related activity, would we still be maligning it? Admit it, YOU WATCH THE HALL OF FAME GAME. You know the game….the game where Ben Roethlisberger and Troy Polamalu play 1 or 2 series and then most of the game features Dennis Dixon, Lee Mays and 44 guys who will be bagging groceries sooner than later? I admit it, I watch it, by that point I am so ready for some football that any morsel, no matter how small, stale, or distasteful will do just fine!

So accept the Pro Bowl for what it is, one of the very last tastes of football for 6 long months. Don’t complain about it, try savoiring it. Maybe compared to real football it is like comparing hot dogs to steak, but remember in a few weeks you’ll be trying to digest Golf (imagine Rice Cakes), NASCAR (think Mountain Dew Soaked Biscuts), College Basketball teams you don’t care about (anyone for Spam), Exhibition Baseball (Celery and Carrot sticks) or even worse if it’s an Olympic Year (Envision that hard tack candy your grandparents had in the jar that was who’s knows how old and stuck together in a big clump).

The Pro Bowl is the last chance to see your favorite Steelers (7) Troy, Ben, Brown, Wallace, Harrison for one last time this year. It’s a time to see the best players in the NFL playing a pickup game and see hookups you can only see in the Pro Bowl: Think Aaron Rodgers to Larry Fitzgerald.

I can remember as a kid seeing Dan Marino throw passes to the Steelers (8), Louis Lipps and at the time thinking how cool that was. Or following the crushing loss of Super Bowl XXX, I remember watching Yancey Thigpen of the Steelers (9), catch a 93 yard TD pass from Jeff Blake. It didn't make the stink of Neil O'Donnell go away, but it was a positive bit of closure on that season. I remember seeing Steeler (10) great, Hines Ward catching a TD from Peyton Manning in 2005 following the awful loss to the Cheatrots in the AFC Championship that year.

The Pro Bowl is a chance to see triple reverse passes being run, it’s a chance to see gadget plays you’d never get to see in a meaningful game. It’s a chance to see some of the games all time greats in the waning part of their careers and reflect upon how great they were. You are surely going to get to see multiple sure fire Hall of Famers on the field.

It’s a time to see the guys, who we as fans, swear must be mortal enemies, clowning around and goofing off together (think Hines and Ochocinco or Joey Porter and Ray Lewis a few years ago). This exposure truly helps rip off the fan’s veil of naivety, a naivety where some fans assume that every member of the Ravens hates every member of the Steelers (11) not only professionally, but personally. Many fans need to read this as many times as it takes to sink in: No matter how much you love your team, no matter how passionate and devoted you are to your team in this case, The Pittsburgh Steelers (12), the hatred probably matters a whole lot more to you than it does to them. Get over it.

So fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers(13) I intend to bastardize Mark Anthony’s quote in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Mark Anthony was speaking at Julius Caesar's funeral and said, : “ I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him”, Instead I, BDEFF, say, "I am here to praise the Pro Bowl not to bury it."

(ED note: How many times do you think Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar has been quoted on a Pittsburgh Steelers (14) message board?)

[exNCite]

try to view it as I did when I was a 10 year old child.

Was??

[bdeff]

Was??

LOL yeah, I can't disagree with that..

[Hambert5958]

No matter how much you love your team, no matter how passionate and devoted you are to your team in this case, The Pittsburgh Steelers (11), the hatred probably matters a whole lot more to you than it does to them. Get over it.

I get that, but in a strange way I love my hatred for the ratbirds....and a few other teams, too....

[vandelay industries]

I enjoyed this.

Did Roast Beef St win that hoops game?

[bdeff]

I enjoyed this.

Did Roast Beef St win that hoops game?

Thanks Vandelay!..to be honest Iona v. Sienna went into 4 Overtimes and I fell asleep.

[Steelreign]

another masterpiece...........why are you putting Pittsburgh Steelers in there so many times?

[Kipper]

(ED NOTE: The moderators and operators of this site did specify that I have to, at the very least, use the terms, “FOOTBALL “ and “Pittsburgh Steelers” at least five times in my articles to retrain my author status! I feel that they fear that I may launch into a diatribe, that is less of a football commentary and more of what is in my desk drawers at any given moment.)

An additional note, I (Kipper) threatened nobody's lives and did not put forth a Roger Goodell rule such as this. therefor... I blame Steelreign

Another great Blog Article, Bdeff!!! You keep writing Blog Articles an this pace and we're going to have to pay you in royalties that are non-existent

I admit, I dont watch the Probowl. There's no competition in it so something that the players don't care about is tough for me to care about but like you said there's a side to the Probowl Game that has an allure if you can get past the non-competitive part of the game. That whole "pick-up football" game feel that the probowl has. There you sort of get to watch the players in a backyard type of atmosphere just playing to play. If you look at the probowl game from that mentality there's positives to watching it for sure...